11 October, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 650

HASH TRASH - Run 650
Three Blobs and a T?
Hares: Neverfucker, aided by Dr. Do-little
It was not very hot, the weather and the clocks having changed over the past week, and the Ra'anana run commenced at the new 3:00 pm winter starting time. We were joined by newly-arrived newly-weds Mary K. Letourn-Ho and Loose Caboose, lately of Portland, Oregon and the Portland Hump Hash and presently of Ashdod, which greatly expands the reach of the Holyland HHH almost to Gaza, but don't go getting any ideas.
Taco Balls was on vacation this week but Bravefart took up the tardy mantle in his stead, which vexed the RA greatly. Let it be known: Lateness is not tolerated!* The circle was encircled, directions were directed, instructions were instructed and on-on went we.
Humble Scribe was a walker this past weekend, and was therefore not witness to the goings-on during the run, but it was reportedly good yet bad, sand and dirt-filled yet paved and clean, long yet short. Who said you can't please everybody?
Make that, you can't please nobody. Dead Boring wasn't loud enough, according to Deliverance; Neverfucker and Dr. D mismarked the trail with three blobs of flour followed by a T, according to Twin Peaks; and Deliverance and Twin Peaks were whingers (US: whiners), according to Dead Boring.
Despite being the bickering Bickersons during the run, at the end we all sat around on the grass for quite a long time before and after the Down-downs, just enjoying the weather, pretzels and potato chips (UK: crisps), and one another's company.
We learned some things we did not know before, for example, that in the past beagles had been used to test the effects of cigarette smoke on humans; that the Portland Humpin' Hash House Harriers doesn't sell T-shirts**; and that Twin Peaks has an excellent kidney-shaped reason for wearing all the hydration accessories she wants during a run, especially after completing a 21K run that morning in two hours and three minutes. Congratulations are in order, however, whinging will still not be tolerated!***
Take heed: the RA has rediscovered the plastic bag containing all the Hash Shit gear and intends to use it until such time as it gets misplaced again.
* Actually, given the evidence, it is.
** But we do! Sales of our own were made promptly afterwards.
*** Well, it still often is, come to think of it.
Down-downs
FRB - Dead Boring
Virgins - Mary K. Letourn-Ho, Loose Caboose
DFL - Loose Caboose
No Hash Shirt - Mary K. Letourn-Ho
Hash Shit - Twin Peaks
Demanding a Brit Speak More Loudly Than She - Deliverance
Beagle Award for Bumming Cigarettes - Neverfucker
No Reason (left over beer) - Boston Creamed, Bravefart, Lager Lout, Stroker
DIRECTIONS TO RUN NUMBER 651
Time: 3:00 pm
Place: Meet in the car park of the Coca Cola factory - Hod Hasharon.
Dead Boring writes:
Take the 5 exiting at Petah Tiqwa Hod Hasharon. Head north on the 40. Take a left at traffic lights (it is either the first or second set can't remember) signposted AREA B. Coca Cola factory is on the left.
Alternatively take the 40 from the north and carry on till you see Coca Cola factory which will be on the right.
It really could not be any simpler so if you are lost you should not be allowed out alone.
On On - Dead Boring
(Put this number to memory then destroy this message or I might have to kill you!!)
WORSE THAN USELESS MAP
AND... Phedippidations Phinalists
The First Annual Worldwide Half Marathon was concluded successfully this past weekend! Israeli participants included Boston Creamed, Captain Caveman, Diabolo, FerFoxSake (the Runner Down Under), Goldmember, Twin Peaks and some guy in Haifa we don't know. Check out: http://www.buckeyeoutdoors.com/cgi-bin/wwhm/results?team=Israel
MUSICAL INTERLUDE; Why Kim Jong Il did it
NEWS FLASH: They Wash Among Us
The neoLuddite Resistance Army reports another attack of killer machines on hapless humans.
IN CLOSING... Factory Fun (a Web classic)
http://blueballfixed.ytmnd.com/ (takes a few seconds to download)

-- Boston Creamed
HASH SCRIBE