29 October, 2009

Hash Trash Run 812, Directions to 813


Due to the Night Run, the hares set a brief hash with only one rule: No Running. Off they wandered, chatting, stopping, lamely checking it out. They crossed the gigantic construction zone in the neighborhood and wound their way through the park, scoping out where the night run would finish. At the down downs, the Embassy roving patrol drove by and stared as half the staff this poor guy was responsible for stood there drinking beer on the side of the road. Klassy. Goldmember tried to wear some spangly flip flops and paid the price: A beer luge through her nasty sandals. The pack enjoyed walking SO much they may never run again. After the night run, the party went until the wee hours on the porch where runners compared chafe marks, blisters and chased their anti-inflammatories with beer or wine (don't worry, we were under the careful supervision of the Hash Pharmacist). Ahhh, the life...

DOWN DOWNS!

Hares: Border Bitch, Desperate Housewife

FRB: Riley Bitch-Housewife
DFL: Twin Peaks
Returnees: AIDS, Fart Smella, Allie, Porn Queen, Susan
Philly Phever/No Hash Kit: Twin Peaks
Running on the walking hash/Sure, blame it on the dog barf: Porn Queen
Needs to find another reason to get a downdown/On the phone again: Semen
New Hash Shoes Flip Flops: Goldmember
Growing a beard: Quickie

DIRECTIONS TO Pimps 'n' Hos RUN 813- SATURDAY 31 OCTOBER at 1500!!!

ON ON AFTERWARDS!

Hare: Porn Queen and Fluffer

Where: Dubnov Garden (see attached ghetto map) or (HERE in Hebrew)

WHAT the WHAT?! For a helpful FAQ on the run, please see the attachment

From Herzliya/points north via 20 (Ayalon):

1. Take the Kaplan Interchange and stay right (towards Azrieli Centre)

2. Cross Menachem Begin and go up little hill. This road becomes Kaplan

3. Pass HaKirya and turn right onto Ibn Givrol

4. Turn right onto Shaul HaMelech

5. Turn right onto Dubnov and pull into lot (corner of Shaul HaMelech and Dubnov – free until 8 PM)

6. HASH start is in Dubnov Garden/Park

From Jerusalem/points south via 20:

1. Take the HaShalom interchange and stay left (going towards Azrieli Centre), turning left onto HaShalom

2. Cross Menachem Begin and go up little hill. This road becomes Kaplan

3. Pass HaKirya and turn right onto Ibn Givrol

4. Turn right onto Shaul HaMelech

5. Turn right onto Dubnov and pull into lot (corner of Shaul HaMelech and Dubnov – free until 8 PM)

6. HASH start is in Dubnov Garden/Park

From Haifa/points north via 2:

1. Turn right onto Shaul HaMelech from 2 south

2. Turn left onto Dubnov

3. Pull into lot (corner of Shaul HaMelech and Dubnov – free until 8 PM)

4. HASH start is in Dubnov Garden/Park

Bring something ghoulishly delicious to share at the on-on afterwards!!!

Berkowitz 10, apt. 312

HARE ROSTER

7-Nov Dyke.Cum
14-Nov LongHorny
21-Nov Ryia
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Floater
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

QUIZ NIGHT!

Quiz Night will be held on Friday, Nov. 6 at Aaron and Margaret Ben-Shoshan's home at 8:00pm. It is advised to arrive by 7:30 in order to begin promptly at 8:00. Remember to RSVP (techelt@yahoo.com) if you would like to attend and let me know how many people will be coming with you. Bring snacks and drinks to share. We are looking forward to seeing you there.

Directions to 6 Sara Street in Herzliya Pituach.

From Tel Aviv: Take Highway 2 to Herzliya/Kfar Shmaryahu exit. Make a left at the junction into Herzliya Pituach. You are now on Keren HaYessod Street. Continue straight through the roundabout and at the 2nd roundabout make a right onto Wingate Street. The second street on the left is Sara Street.

Any questions, call Margaret at 054-300-5092.

21 October, 2009

Hash Trash Run 811, Directions to 812, More info on the HASH WEEKEND

Just when we all thought that summer was over, the pack met ON TIME in North TLV for a LOW GLUTEN hash. I know Deliverance is all into being fit, eating well, training obsessively, but why did she make us run 7.4km in this heat?! This is the HASH- an afternoon jaunt rewarded with beer. Faithful readers, I do not need to remind you of the injustices this pack has suffered in the last 6 months with horrendously long hashes, where the hares forgot where we were going and didn't use enough flour- this run HAD IT ALL, length (that's what she said), disorientation, a low-carb lifestyle... We ran, we dodged dog produced land mines, we were nearly attacked by a puppy. At the half we sang Do Re Mi (hopefully next time, with feeling?). The DFL/Virgin Guru Guru reenacted his straggle into the circle for the cameras. He sang us a Japanese Hash Song, we admired the brand new cooler/eskie/chilly bin, White Pointers served us cake for Bling Dong's birthday and by golly, we named two new hashers. JustCassie is now Floater (what a piece of crap!) and our always-eager-to-help JustTal became Fluffer (you can do the research on that one, kids).

Down Downs

Hares: Deliverance
FRB: Fluffer

DFL: Guru Guru

Virgins: Guru Guru
Racing on the Hash is VERBOTEN: Quickie
I.C.U.P: Ryia, Floater

Lisa it's your birthday, happy birthday Lisa: Bling Dong

On the Phone Again, I just can't wait to get on the Phone Again: Wind Breaker (and others. The RA failed to note some of these downdowns)




DIRECTIONS TO RUN 812- ON ON AFTER THE NIGHT RUN!!!!
Hare: Border Bitch
Where: i'll give you a guess.


...ok. Corner of Levi Eshkol and Maurizio Vitale in Kohav Hatsafon

After the run you are welcome to hang out or drop off a change of clothes for after the run. POST NIGHT RUN there will be a barbecue and Parrr-Tay at Casa Del Housewife. Drop off salads, drinks, clothing, etc. after the hash.

HARE ROSTER- You know you want to.

31-Oct Porn Queen & Fluffer PIMPS & HOS RUN WITH ON ON AFTER!!
7-Nov Dyke.Cum
14-Nov LongHorny
21-Nov Ryia
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Floater
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong



HASH WEEKEND NOVEMBER 20th!
Room Rates if you are staying both nights - Nov. 20th & 21st
2 Adults - $108 per night
Children
2 yrs to 11 yrs - $27 per night
Children (12+) or Additional adult - $41 per night

Room Rates if you are staying one night only - Nov. 20th
2 Adults - $129
Children 2 yrs to 11 yrs - $32 per night
Children
(12+) or Additional adult - $49 per night

These rates are for Foreign Passport Holders only (and no it does not count for dual citizenship) So, in support of your local Hashers, we may need assistance.

I will need your Passport numbers in order to make the reservations and you will be required to have your passport when you check-in. They need to verify that you are a Foreigner not a local yokel.

Please let me know if you are staying for one night or two ASAP
CONTACT TWIN PEAKS
maureenkarassik@yahoo.com


On-on!

Hash Scribe
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

18 October, 2009

Hash Weekend Reminder... IT'S NOT TOO LATE!

You still have time to let Twin Peaks (maureenkarassik@yahoo.com) know if you're going to be in for our HASH WEEKEND on November 20th at Kibbutz Tzuba.

Please let Twin Peaks know ASAP if you are in AND how many nights will you be with us.

Your Scribe

17 October, 2009

Hash Weekend! Respond NOW!

The hash has planned another debauchery filled weekend... are you in?

We will be heading up to Kibbutz Tzuba (http://tzuba.co.il/) near J-town on the weekend of November 20th.

If you plan on joining us (and dammit, you better), YOU MUST EMAIL TWIN PEAKS by TOMORROW, October 17th. There is the possibility of an alternative weekend, but our first choice is in November.
MaureenKarassik@yahoo.com



On-on!
Hash Scribe
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

15 October, 2009

HASH TRASH run 810, Directions for 811

After a small pack the previous week it seemed like everyone came out of the woodwork for this weeks run in Givatayim. To cope with the masses some extra beer was purchased from the Thirsty Knights supply. We welcomed back Grave Robber and his clan of kids and marveled at his people moving abilities. The trail took us through the streets Givatayim, we encountered menacing dogs, found a pair of discarded shoes and dodged doggy poop. The trail then let us into an apartment complex which confused both the runners and the hares. After a domestic dispute between the hares over the true trail, we were told the arrow pointed in the direction of the apartment was only an indication to change to the other side of the road. Most confusing indeed. Halfway we met in a very big park and sang a very lacklustre version of Swing Low (bring back Diablo). On the way back to the circle we lost Tal and Pig Woman who took a wrong turn and couldn't be bothered back tracking to the trail when they could almost taste the deliciousness of an icy cold beer. Wet Pussy decided to wear his lovely new shoes and paid the price by drinking beer from them much to the amusement of Dyke dot cum.

Down Downs

Hares: Twin Peaks and Deliverance
FRB: Dyke dot cum

DKF: Lorraine

Virgins: Lorraine, Snow Goose, Demaris, Carlo, Arriane, Mark, Eliza, Oz
Returnees: Grave Robber and kids, Roya
SCBs: Tal and Pig Woman

People Mover: Grave Robber

On the Phone Again, I just can't wait to get on the Phone Again: Goldmember


Foot Fetish: Wet Pussy

DIRECTIONS TO RUN 811
The run on October 17th will begin in Ramat Aviv at 3:00. The directions are as follows:

From Tel Aviv: From Derek Namir Road towards Herzliya and make a right on to Einstein Street in Ramat Aviv. Make a left at the 3rd light onto Brodetsky Street. When you come to the traffic circle take a right onto Reading Street. Continue straight until you see a park on your left side. Parking lot is on the left at the Alliance High School. Your Hare will be waiting for you.

From Herzliya: Take Derek Namir Road towards Tel Aviv and make a left onto Einstein Street.
Make a left at the 3rd light onto Brodetsky Street. When you come to the traffic circle take a right onto Reading Street. Continue straight until you see a park on your left side. Parking lot is on the left at the Alliance High School. Your Hare will be waiting for you.
Lost? Call Deliverance at 054-300-5092

HARE ROSTER- SET ON YOUR DATE OR FIND ANOTHER SUCKER:

24-Oct Border Bitch NIKE NIGHT RUN- ON ON AFTER THE NIGHT RUN!!!
31-Oct Porn Queen & Tal PIMPS & HOS RUN WITH ON ON AFTER!!
7-Nov Long Horny
14-Nov Dyke.Cum
21-Nov Roya
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Cassie
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Tal
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

Motley's Halloween Party Information is listed below. All Hashers are invited to attend. Wear a freaking costume!!

The Motley Crew is at it again!

A Spooktacular Halloween Party is Brewing

at

25 Shalva Street

Friday, October 30

1730—until????

(that's 7:30 pm for all us non-military types)

See you there or the goblins will get you!

057 4206769—Dave

054 9051341—Linda



On-on!
Hash Scribe
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

08 October, 2009

Hash Trash Run 809, Directions to 810!


The hare chose a location no one had ever been to before: The scary, terrifying (or not.) Bat Yam. Most of the hashers made it to the circle on time, two were tardy and two hashers failed the geography quiz: Is Bat Yam north or south of Tel Aviv? (for answer, scroll down, down, down) Off the hash ran at about 1535, or 35 minutes late. We crossed streets! Dodged children on bicycles, ran UP and DOWN hills, steps, dodged tour groups in Jaffa and slip-slided down some ancient steps to the port area. Poor Tal was nearly mowed down by a car and multiple careening kiddies. He also batted about 1 for 9 when checking it out. That guy had to have run 8 or 9k on this trail… At the halfway we sang More Beer, of which there was plenty. Everyone regretted More Beer when faced with the flights of steps they needed to scale to get back. One check appeared to have two answers, both of which involved running up a hill. On we went, at the final hold the ladies took off… and then we had beer, were harassed by a crazy old man who was shouting out names of American presidents who was silenced with such obscurities as Harrison and Wilson and an old woman spied on our circle from her window across the street. Don't think we didn't see you, granny.

Down Downs

Hare: Desperate Housewife
FRB: Border Bitch

DFL: AmboHo

DFLate: Deliverance & Twin Peaks
ReallyReallyDFLate (aka Magellan and Degama): Fatty Tatty & Pig Woman
NonSCBs (or Honest Abes)
: Pig Woman, Dyke.Cum, Tal

Beer Beeyotch: Caveman

Half 'n' Half: Twin Peaks

GET OFF YOUR BUTTS! Caveman, Your Honor, Fatty Tatty, Deliverance

Yes, you have a cleaning lady, but no it's still your fault you're wearing NEW SHOES (again.): AmboHo

Directions to Run 810 STARTING AT THREE PM (1500, Shalosh Ba'Tsoriym, Tres, 3:00):

Hare: Twin Peaks

Time: 3pm
Date: 10 October
Location: Givatayim
Directions: Ayalon South to the HaShalom Exit at the light (Azrielle Center on right and the train station on left) TURN LEFT on to HaShalom Street. Straight through 10 traffic lights. Just pass the Paz Gas Station on the left at the ELEVENTH traffic light TURN LEFT on to KOURAZIN STREET. Parking lot up 200 meters on left.

From Route 4. Exit at the Bar Elan/Aluf Sadeh Interchange. Follow signs to Aluf Sadeh (LEFT LANE). Merge on to road and get into right hand lanes and follow signs to Tel Aviv/Ramat Gan. Straight through
THREE traffic lights. At FOURTH traffic light make a RIGHT TURN on to KOURAZIN STREET. Parking lot up 200 meters on left

Any problems, look at a map or call Twin Peaks on 0528743662

HARE ROSTER- SET ON YOUR DATE OR FIND ANOTHER SUCKER:

17-Oct Semen or Deliverance (they're fighting over who is setting.)
24-Oct Border Bitch NIKE NIGHT RUN
31-Oct Porn Queen & Tal PIMPS & HOS RUN WITH ON ON AFTER!!
7-Nov Long Horny
14-Nov Dyke.Cum
21-Nov Roya
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Cassie
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Tal
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

Bat Yam is SOUTH of Tel Aviv. Thanks for playing!

02 October, 2009

Hash Trash Run 808, Directions to 809!

After a mad scramble to find a replacement hare and then another behind-the-scenes scramble on Where the Hell to Have the Hash, the pack met AS PLANNED at the parking lot next to the Mosque. You know, the spot we seem to constantly run from. For once, we started on time, and took off into Neve Tzedek. At the half-way, we sang Joe Buttons, or rather, Border Bitch sang Joe Buttons, the rest of the pack just lamely flailed their limbs and mumbled along. It wasn’t quite as bad as the Hash House Family (see Run From Hell: Caesaria), but it was pretty sad. After the half we ran for like 1.5km without a hold, which yeah, yeah, yeah, isn’t that long, but some of us had had a large brunch and almost barfed. Along the way, we learned a lot of valuable information about hashers, notably that AmboHo will stare at men in Israeli swimsuits, and by swimsuits, I mean ratty underwear that Israeli men think ARE swimsuits but everywhere else in the free world are underwear. Aside from the low-gluten hash, we all made it back. Yadda Yadda Yadda, had beer, went home.

Down DownsHare: Goldmember
FRB: Dyke.Cum DFL: BlingDong
SCB: Desperate Housewife, SemanVirgins: David, Sharon, Your OnherRetardees (I mean, Returnees): Desperate Housewife, Border Bitch, Dyke.Cum, BlingDong, White PointersHalf 'n' Half: SemanTaking a Load Off: Border Bitch, Tal, Pig Woman, Crock SuckerMelodious Singing: Border BitchMiddle aged married woman gawking: AmboHo

Directions to Run 809 STARTING AT THREE PM (1500, Shalosh Ba'Tsoriym, Tres, 3:00):
Hare: Desperate Housewife
Where: Neve Golan Community Center, Bat Yam

Disclaimers:
1) The Hare does not know this neighborhood. The directions are clear and maps are provided. The hare’s cell phone is dysfunctional so no number is being provided.
2) The Hare does not know this neighborhood or availability of parking on a Saturday. One of the maps has four parking lots circled with-in 1 minutes walk of the start.

From the North:
Take Ayalon south from Tel Aviv
Continue on 20 south, NOT towards Jerusalem.
Take exit Wolfson Interchange to merge onto Derech Hel HaShiryon
Slight left at Derech Yigael Yadin
At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto the Ed Koch (right)
Continue on Sderot HaBesht (straight at first lights)
Turn left at Kehilat Australia (carpark by soccer field)

From the South:
Take 20 north towards Tel Aviv
Take exit Wolfson Interchange
At the traffic circle, take the 3rd exit onto the Ed Koch
Continue on Sderot HaBesht (straight at first lights)
Turn left at Kehilat Australia (carpark by soccer field)

HARE ROSTER- SET ON YOUR DATE OR FIND ANOTHER SUCKER:
10-Oct Twin Peaks
17-Oct Semen or Deliverance (they’re fighting over who is setting.)
24-Oct Border Bitch NIKE NIGHT RUN
31-Oct Porn Queen & Tal PIMPS & HOS RUN WITH ON ON AFTER!!
7-Nov Long Horny
14-Nov Dyke.Cum
21-Nov Roya
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Cassie
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Tal
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong