24 June, 2011

Hash Trash Run 899, Directions to Run 900

Hello fellow Hashers!

Last weekend was not about the trail itself, but what awaited at the end of it: BBQ, swimming pool and girls in bikinis (names are irrelevant), all of which courtesy of the embassy of Serbia (and Just Mitch).

The Hash started off with a camp-fire-like storytelling by Semen, enlightening Hashers about their heritage with a book about HHH. After that, it all went to s&#t. Now, your Scribe heard all the Hashers' complaints about the trail led by Black Magic: it seems that Serbians are not familiar with the Hash marking system, nor are they willing to learn it. So as it turned out, the Hare created a crazy and incomprehensible trail, with On 1's, 2's and 3's, T's and Checks coming in from all direction at once. He also apparently decided that Holds are for sissies and marked only Checks for the entire trail (sparking Stiff Meat's creativity: "I thought this is a Serbian Hash, not a Czech Hash"). And as if that wasn't enough, Captain Caveman decided there was room for more confusion, so he started blowing the Hash Horn at times when he wasn't even on the trail. But the final straw was of course, a beer-at-the-half-way promise made by the Hare, that turned out to be a sham. Really - promising the Holy Beer and not delivering? Too far, man, gone too far.

Closing in on the Circle, Hasher/Racist Spit or Swallow took on the challenge of robbing FRB from poor innocent Caveman, which became a fight-to-the-death between Caveman, Fart Smella and SOS. It was a miracle no one was seriously hurt, although sissy-cries were heard by all parties. All was eventually squared at the circle (or after 3 beers, I dunno which came first). And what a circle it was - breaking Hash rules left and right. It started with Bullshit breaking the No Smoking rule in style (he actually brought a couple of cigars, does that count?). Then continued with Virgin misbehaviour with Just Jimmy's chucking of Hash Cups when he was done with them (quote: "Hey, it was empty"), and Just Melissa excusing herself from exposing herself ("My boss doesn't let me show my underwear"?? C'mon, that's no excuse, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen). To top it all off, Fluffer, in a desparate effort to spare some Hash kids the profanities of our songs, came up with a whole new Hash song this Scribe is sure you all will enjoy:

"If your girlfriend smells like (pause) honey flip her over,
If your girlfriend smells like honey flip her over.
If your girlfriend smells like honey,
(pause) it's a rabbit, not a bunny,

If your girlfriend smells like honey flip her over!"

Priceless.




Down-Downs Run 899:
Hares: Black Magic, Just Mitch
FRB: Spit or Swallow
DFL: AmboHo
Returnees: AmboHo, Foreplay, Bullshit, Rocket
Misnaming: Crock Sucker
Virgins: Just Lynn, Just Mitch, Just Ceca, Just Melissa, Just James
Host w/ The Most: Just Mitch
Lost Hashers On Walk / Child Abuse: Foreplay
High Priestess / Oprah Book Club: Semen
Late Cummers: Fart Smella, Crock Sucker
Sitting On The Hash: Bullshit
Mass Confusion: Black Magic
Nudity: Goldmember
Hash Fashion: Stiff Meat
New Shoes: Fart Smella


...and now for this week's run:


Directions to Run 900:
Meeting time: Saturday June 25th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Parking lot @ Elifelet St., Tel Aviv.
Been there many times. You senile? here's a Google Map
Lost? Call Fluffer 052-8801111



Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:
Visiting Hasher Bradley would like to join us for this run - contact him @ brarrr@gmail.com if you can offer a ride.



Other messages:
Don't forget your Hare Roster deadline... in 5 weeks the new roster will be ready - email your date requests now!



Hare roster - are you there?!
#901 Jul 2 - AmboHo
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - Stiff Meat
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



17 June, 2011

Directions to Run 899

Directions to Run 899:
Meeting time: Saturday June 18th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Next hash will be in Herzliya Pitauh, Shlomo Hamelech 2 street.
Direction from Tel Aviv: Turn from highway #2 into Karen HaYesod street. Make a U-turn at the intersection with HaNasi street. Turn right into Shalva street. Turn second right and than right again.
Yes, that was confusing... Here's a Google Map to help you guys.
Lost? Well, hare will make you drink warm hard drinks, like whisky or vodka. Interested? Call Black Magic 0544-514286

More notes from the hare:
There will be a walking trail, and even a Walking Hare! So bring your dogs/cats/parrots/babies/walking canes.
And... There's an on-after! Drinks will be free, just bring something for BBQ that you would like to eat. Bring your friends and family and also swimming stuff.
(Hey man, you had me at "drinks will be free")



Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:



Other messages:
The new Hare-Raiser Roster is approaching!
Any Hashers wishing to reserve a date for themselves on the new Roster, should email your Hash Scribe (reply to this mail) with the desired date/s ASAP.
Because as usual - in 6 weeks this ceases to be a democracy, and any Hashers that have not asked for a specific date will be assigned one - and it's ON YOU to find replacements!



Hare roster - are you there?!
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - AmboHo
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - Stiff Meat
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



09 June, 2011

Hash Trash Run 897, Directions to Run 898

Hello fellow Hashers!

Stiff Meat brought new red bacon-socks,

He also brought Gouda cheese from the Netherlands,

The Hash was waaaaaaaaayyyyyy too long,

And No Mercy Mistress near expired along the way.


(Want to know more? get 'yer asses to the Hash next time!)



Down-Downs Run 897:
Hare: Goldmember
FRB: Double Entry
DFL: Twin Peaks
Interhasher: Stiff Meat
Visiting Virgin: No Mercy Mistress
DNF: Boston Creamed
No Stops: Twin Peaks
Laying down: Stiff Meat
Playing Doctor: Crock Sucker
No Life: Just Anya


...and now for this week's run:


Directions to Run 898 - The Tri-City run:
(not as long as it sounds, not long at all!)
Meeting time: Saturday June 11th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: The run will start at the Mega-Ba'ir parking lot on 6 Oded Street, Tel-Aviv.
  • Cumming from Ayalon - get off at Hashalom Interchange and go on Hashalom (eastbound), take a RIGHT onto Oded st. and the parking lot is on your right.
  • Cumming from Route 4 - get off at Aluf-Sade Interchange and go on Aluf-Sade (westbound), take a LEFT onto Oded st. and the parking lot is on your right.
There is a walking route, so no worries! (ya Lazies)
Into that tech thang? here's a Google Map
Lost? Call Betty Cocker 052-8551144 & Spit or Swallow 054-6717787



Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:



Other messages:



Hare roster - are you there?!
#899 Jun 18 - Black Magic (on-on after)
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - AmboHo
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - Stiff Meat
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



03 June, 2011

Directions to Run 897

Directions to Run 897:
Meeting time: Saturday June 4th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: We will meet at Yohanan HaSandlar 19, Kefar Saba.
Google Map: Click here
Lost? Call Goldmember 052-2671796


Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:



Other messages:
Come a celebrate Double Entry's 60th birthday!
A note from the birthday boy's family:
Dear Friends,
Paul is 60 , and this is an Invite to celebrate , on the 10th of June , Friday, at 13.00 in the Afternoon, at " Gilda " Bar/Restaurant , 64 Ehad Haam St, ( Corner Bezalel Yaffe St,) Tel Aviv.
Please confirm to Paul Tel.  0547 909034 or Ilana 0506 505995.or mail rokach1@netvision.net.il.



Hare roster - are you there?!
#898 Jun 11 - Betty Cocker
#899 Jun 18 - Black Magic (on-on after)
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - Stiff Meat NEEDS A REPLACEMENT
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - AmboHo
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber