28 September, 2012

Hash Trash Run 963, Directions to Run 964

Hello fellow Hashers!
Hare's view of the 963rd Hash:

The run was great fun.
We ran through the lovely fields of north Raanana, through citrus orchards and across Raanana stream (more of "Raanana sewage stream", but hell, who cares...).
We saw some nice youngsters along the way and wished they'd join us one day. When they stopped being douchebags. That'll happen one day (yeah, right...).
We even had a (not at the HALF way) halfway beer and sang some Do Re Me while downing those beers.
All in all, the hare had a great time, so everybody had a great time.

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 963:
Hare: sos
FRB: Fluffer
DFL: Just cornelia 
Returnees: Goldmember, Semen, Just Cornelia
Relieving: Semen, Penis Envy
DizzyLizzy: Captain Caveman 
Streching: Just Cornelia, Goldmember 
Martyr: Penis Envy
Drive Over Beer: Betty Cocker 
Last Bachelor Hash: Fluffer

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 964:

Run #964 will embrace spectacular landscapes and views,

as it will take place in Jerusalem (...REAL Hashers don't care about uphills, don't they?).


(A not so surprising) Surprise: On-After after the Hash at "Casa Gonadfather e Boston Creamed" where Italian gourmet food, lovingly catered for the event will be served with some fine beer (or Carlsberg)


Meeting time: Saturday Sep. 29th16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
end (or beginning?) of Dubnov Street, just in front of HaShoshanim Garden (HERE)

For you GPS junkies, just tap in "Dubnov 15, Jerusalem"


For those allergic to GPS, here some Google driving directions form Jerusalem entrance from Tel Aviv  (Jerusalem Chords Bridge, aka Caveman's Erection).


Maps: From Caveman's Erection (all directions)

Directions (From the aforementioned erection):


1. Head northwest on Sderot Shazar/שדרות שז"ר‎ 
2. Continue onto Sderot Ben Tsvi/שדרות בן צבי‎
3. Turn left onto Bezalel/בצלאל‎
4. Continue onto אליעזר וחמדה בן יהודה‎
5. Turn right onto Shmu'el HaNagid/שמואל הנגיד‎
6. Turn right onto King George/המלך ג'ורג'‎
7. Continue onto Keren HaYesod/קרן היסוד‎
8. Turn right onto Shalom Aleichem/שלום עליכם‎
9. Continue onto Yitshak Elhanan/יצחק אלחנן‎
10. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit ontoDubnov/דובנוב‎
Destination will be on the right




Some More Information:
Park on the street

Lost? Call your Hare, Call Boston Creamed: 054 2152653  /  Gonadfather: 054 5937721


Other messages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
  • The new Hare Raising Roster will be out next week.
  • On Oct. 19 Quiz night is on! You know where...

Did you know?!
I already have a volunteer for the Oct 27th hash. 
Me Need More Volunteers!!

Hare roster - are you there?!

#965 Oct. 6 - Semen


--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

21 September, 2012

Directions to Hash #963

Well,
After yesterday night's Hash I wasn't in the right mind to write Hash-Trash, and especially not to think of a starting point\trail.
Somehow I made it through the writing HT part, but the starting point was just postponed to right about now.

So, without further ado, let's go to tomorrow's Hash:

Meeting time: Saturday Sep. 22nd16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: Zarhin st. Raanana (that's in Raanana's northern industrial zone)

Maps: Here

Directions (from road #4, cuming from the South): 
  1. Head North on road #4
  2. Get off at Raanana North interchange heading West
  3. Take the first right - towards HaTidhar st.
  4. Take the 3rd left to HaTa'asiya st.
  5. Take the 1st right to Zarhin st.
  6. Go all the way to the end of the street
  7. Park.
For other directions, go to Google Maps at this LINK

Some More Information:
Plan for a hot day - drink WATER beforehand!
Park on the street

Lost? Call moi, Spit or Swallow, @ 054-6717787

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

Hash Trash Run 962, Heads up to Run 963

Hello fellow Hashers!
Hare's view of the 962nd Hash (unedited):

Being challenged by the RA to outdo last weeks Hash is not something to blow your nose at, so your Hare spent all week in the planing. I didn't go to work and lost sleep every night, turning over and over in bed thinking how to outdo last weeks Hash. I knew I couldn't do it alone so I called in the Aid of STD (sexually transmitted disease)  who thought she was going to help get the Barbi hot and drink beer. As soon as she parked the car, along with virgin Osnat, we started setting the trail. 
The run had an average turnout 10-15 Hashers who for some reason had nothing better to do on their day off.
The pack was taken by the (sissy) soccer stadium, through residential areas, crossing highways and finally to the halfway where to everyone's amazement beer was waiting. At some point in the drinking we remembered that it was a Hash and sang Joe the Button Man and continued running though sand and agriculture all the way being accompanied by a pathetic attempt at Hash Horn blowing...to reach the circle and the beer.
The circle led by our RA was most inspiring and we quickly dispersed to Caveman's bachelor pad where food had to be prepared.
Luckily Corporal Punishment showed up with wife and prince to take control of the fire. First prize goes to Penis envy for bringing home-cooked bread and other goodies (and for leaving her sweaty laundry). Last prize will go to the Hasher that brought apples and bananas. When we say bring meat and salads, we mean for you to bring meat and salads. After totally wrecking me house, everyone pissed off to contemplate their Jewish New Year resolutions.


So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 962:
Hares: Captain Caveman, STD, Just Osnat
FRB: Twin Peaks
DFL: Penis Envy
Returnees: STD, Spit or Swollow, Betty Cocker, Fluffer, Penis Envy
Visitors: Stewed Tomatoes
Sitting while running: Deliverance, Captain Caveman
Misnaming: Deliverance
Barefoot Fucker: Double Entry
Walker: STD
Untied shoes: Betty Cocker
Veggie promoting meat: STD
New Shoes (and drinking out of): Captain Caveman

...and now for this week's run: 

Heads up to Run 963:

That's only a heads up, when I (the hare/Hash-Scribe) will decide where exactly the Hash will take place I'll notify y'all


Meeting time: Saturday Sep. 22nd16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: Probably the Raanana\Kfar Saba area

Since I'm in debt to Captain Caveman I've decided to take the Hash outside of TA. Next time I set a Hash I'll make up for it (maybe).

Maps:
 

Directions:

Some More Information:
Plan for a hot day - drink WATER beforehand!
Park on the street

Lost? That's actually impossible since there is no place you should be... But your hare will be yours truly, Spit or Swallow, which can be reached at 054-6717787

Other messages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
  • This is a last call to submit your desired haring dates. At the end of September a new Hare Raising Roster begins. If you have any preference as to a specific Hash date, speak now or forever hold your piss.

Did you know?!
I already have a volunteer for the Oct 27th hash. 
Me Need More Volunteers!!

Hare roster - are you there?!

#964 Sep 29 - The Gonadfather 


--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

20 September, 2012

Thirsty Knights Hash Today

Hi,
I don't usually send this information, but:

Today, Thursday, Sep. 20th, a Thirsty Knights Hash will take place in Tel Aviv.
Cum!

Location: Hayarkon Park, just by Mike's Place Dizengoff HERE (the blue marker marks the Hash starting point, the glass is mikes place...)

Directions:
  1. Get on Ayalon road (road #20).
  2. Get off of Ayalon at Rokach interchange heading west.
  3. Go into the parking lot next to reading, it's free and it's like a 100 m. from the starting point.
OR: follow this really stupid map

Managed to get lost? HOW THE FUCK?! Call your hare Loves the Cock @054-4367738

More details? Less details? go to http://www.facebook.com/thirstyknights

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

15 September, 2012

Hash Trash - Supplemental (AKA: Fwd: Oops!)

I won't give away my sources [ahm, ahm DELIVERANCE!!!]
But some small bird sent me last week's HT a bit late.
So here you go, late HT supplemental:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: aaron ben-shoshan <techelt@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, Sep 14, 2012 at 5:01 PM
Subject: Oops!
To: Hash Trash <holyland.hashers@gmail.com


Dear Hash Trash,
 
Please put this out although it is late.  Last week's Hash:
 
We met in Tel Aviv near the park.  Loves the Cock set a wonderful trail that weaved us through Tel Aviv.  We were in the park, near the Port, saw sand, dirt, grass, asphalt and bike paths.  Two visiting Hashers arrived from California (literally hours before the Hash), Sodomizer and Muddy Flaps.  A real Hash Love Story.  Met on a Hash and married.  They are here through Saturday the 15th and I really hope they make their way to Kfar Saba tomorrow. 
 
Loves the Cock also had a beer stop and a shot stop!  Beat that Caveman! 
 
Down Downs: Lost the list so I am making it up.
Hare:  Loves the Cock
FRB: Sodomizer
DFL: Deliverance
Visitors:  Sodomizer and Muddy Flaps
Returnee:  Double Entry
All around Pain in the Ass:  Caveman
Great time had by all:  Sodomizer, Muddy Flaps, Loves the Cock, Double Entry, Deliverance
Your loss:  THe rest of you loser hashers!
 
 
 



--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

13 September, 2012

Hash Trash Run 961, Directions to Run 962

Hello fellow Hashers!
Hare's view of the 961st Hash:

Even tough it was a hot Saturday, the hare laid a shady trail that included both scenic views of the white city and an alcoholic refreshment during the half way.
it is true that at some points there was no shade, and that the hare took the hashers through some of Tel Aviv's worst neighborhoods, but hey...who said he can't?

song was sang, beers were drank and everyone got back home happier than they left it.
hashers complained, like they always do, but the hare didn't give a fuck, as a hare should do.

The above is actually the Hares view of Hash #959, but since the Hare didn't write anything, I guessed, "what the hell".
And there was pizza.


So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 959:
Hare: Loves the Cock
FRB: Don't Know
DFL: Don't Care
Virgin: Nobody Told ME
Returnees: None and All

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 962:

"When the cat's away, the mice will play."
Be prepared for surprises.

Surprise: On-After after the Hash at Chez Caveman. Bring meats and salads.

Meeting time: Saturday Sep. 15th16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Northern end of HaMovil st., Kfar Saba (Here)

Maps: From Road #4 (all directions)

Directions:
You have two options;

A. From Tel-Aviv take Route 4 to Kfar Sava/Raanana North and head EAST to Kfar Sava.
Go 4.5 kms to the first rotary and turn LEFT. 
This is Hamovil St. Go to the end and park.
-OR-
B. Use the directions on Google Maps (at the attached maps above).

Some More Information:
Plan for a hot, hot day - drink WATER beforehand!
Park on the street

Lost? Call your Hare, Captain Caveman @052-2445644

Yet another
(?) surprise: On-After after the Hash at Chez Caveman. Bring meats and salads.

Other messages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
  • At the end of September a new Hare Raising Roster begins. If you have any preference as to a specific Hash date, speak now or forever hold your piss.

Did you know?!
I already have a volunteer for the Oct 27th hash. 
Me Need More Volunteers!!

Hare roster - are you there?!

#963 Sep 22 - Spit or Swallow

#964 Sep 29 - The Gonadfather



--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

07 September, 2012

Hash Trash Run 960, Directions to Run 961

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hare's view of the 960th Hash:

Four Jerusalem hashers gathered for a gazelle hash Saturday. They were joined by three hashers from Be'er Sheba and two from Tel Aviv who, in an embellishment on a TA tradition arrived late, found the hash but did not find the trail.
The run was on a mix of on-road, off-road terrain passing through various secular, orthodox and wildlife sanctuaries. There was a beer stop thoughtfully located at a bus stop shelter.

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 960:
Hare: Ghaddafi and HotBox
FRB: The Gonadfather
DFL: Boston Creamed
Lost on the Hash: Better in My Mouth, Just Souad
Lost the Hashers: Hot Box, Just Geri
Missed the Double Hold (ran by 2 circles): The Gonadfather
No Hash Gear: CumOnIWannaLayYa
Reliever: Just Dave
Sitting on the Hash: Everyone but Gonadfather and Nili-the-dog 


...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 961:
Meeting time: Saturday Sep. 8th16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.


Location:  corner of BONEI HAIR and Meir Ya'ari in Tel Aviv (Here)

For you GPS-geekies: Just tap in your whatsamajig "Meir Ya'ari 2, Tel-Aviv" this should get you there.

Directions (Cuming from all directions outside of TA): 

  1. Go on Ayalon
  2. Get off Ayalon at Rokach Interchange going west.
  3. Go on the bridge
  4. Turn Right at Ibn Gabirol (that's the first right after the bridge)
  5. Turn Right to Shai Agnon
  6. Turn Right to Israel Galili
  7. Turn Right to Meir Ya'ari
  8. Go straight until you hit the Hare...


Lost? How's that possible, I really put an effort into these directions, and I wrote it after a Hash!!!
Oh, the hell with it... find LTC at 054-4367738


On After at Chez Loves the Cock
In Biluya Maoz 4 Apt #26, Kochav haTzafon Tel Aviv. About 5 minutes from the starting point.
LTC claims it's not on google maps but I found it, right here. You can also find the location in WAZE, it's known as Rebecca's palace (a question must be asked, how does WAZE know her sooooo well?!).
There will be pizza as an on–after snack. You can bring stuff if you want for the on-after and if you come early enough you can throw it in her apt.  
Yet be warned, "I only sleep at my apartment and do not have very many cooking things. I was only allowed to bring 900lbs so basically don't expect me to have cooking stuff..." 

Other messages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
  • At the end of September a new Hare Raising Roster begins. If you have any preference as to a specific Hash date, speak now or forever hold your piss.



Did you know?!
I already have a volunteer for the Oct 27th hash. 
Me Need More Volunteers!!

Did you know?! (2!!!)
On Oct. 19th Quiz night is back in town. Save the date!!!

Hare roster - are you there?!

#962 Sep 15 - Captain Caveman

#963 Sep 22 - TBD

#964 Sep 29 - The Gonadfather 


--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

04 September, 2012

TKH3 Run 69+10

We're running again - Thursday, Sep 6th, at 8pm!!!

From the Hare (Captain Caveman): "Starting point will be in Herzeliya Pituach, at the big parking lot on Maskit St - the South West side."

I'm not sure exactly where that is, but I'll try to get more info from him.

You wankers who ordered shirts had better show up and take them off my hands!  I've only got one more hash here before I'm history, and I'm gonna give your shirts to needy kids in sowf-eass DC.