30 November, 2012

Hash Update - Directions to Hash #973

Hello fellow Hashers!

This just in...
The start point for this weeks Hash have changed!!
Directions below.

Directions to Run 973:

Meeting timeSaturday December 1st.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: Gate 3 of the National Stadium in Ramat Gan (here).

Maps: Same map as above: here

Directions: From Ayalon HW Here

From Ayalon North/‫איילון צפון‬‎/Route 20
1. Head north on Ayalon North/איילון צפון‎/Route 20 toward Route 1
2. Take exit HaRakevet Interchange-מחלף הרכבת‎ toward Derech Ze'ev Jabotinsky/דרך זאב ז'בוטינסקי‎
3. Take exit Jabotinsky Road-דרך ז'בוטינסקי‎on the left to merge onto Derech Ze'ev Jabotinsky/דרך זאב ז'בוטינסקי‎
4. Turn left onto Derech Aba Hillel/דרך אבא הלל‎
5. Slight left onto Aba Hillel Tunnel/מנהרת אבא הלל‎
6. Continue onto Derech Aba Hillel/דרך אבא הלל‎
7. Continue onto Derech Sheshet HaYamim/דרך ששת הימים‎
8. Turn left toward Ayalon Mall
9. Turn left towards the stadium
10. Go west, and turn right next to the stadium wall‎
11. There you are! we've been waiting for you...

All Else: Same as the first Hash-Trash.

On-On!

Hash Trash Run 972, Directions to Run 973

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hare's view of the 972nd Hash:

The hash convened in Jerusalem where the weather had threatened to piss on the Hashers all morning, but that did not scare the Hashers away. In fact, almost in defiance, the Hashers thumbed their noses at mother nature and even found a number of virgins to bring with them. The hare was teased about creating a supersize Hash circle, one that just-nily either approved or disapproved of, by both peeing and pooping in said circle. 
The number of Hashers only continued to grow as 3 o'clock drew near which started making the Beer Mister nervous (who would eventually send walkers for more beer). 
After the arrival of late cummers Puppy Love Machine, Just Rachel and Scooby Snack, the Hash circle was completely full. The hare tried to deliver a Shakespearian rendition of instructions which not only confused the virgins but also veteran Hashers. After being told to put a cork in it, finally, the Hashers were off.  
Runners were running, walkers were walking and half way through hashers took a break to down some beers and sing and dance Joe Button in mud. 
After down-downs....the many, many down downs... a tailgate type On-After was enjoyed by all. Beer was drunk, meat was devoured and bullshit was spewed. 
In the end the hare would reason about the size of the circle - If you build it, they will cum!! 
 
So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 972:
HarePigwoman
FRBJust Eyal
DFLDeliverance
VirginsJust Mike, Just Jennifer, Just Eyal, Just Doug, Just Rachael, Scooby Snacks
ReturneesHot Box, Quadaffi, Gonadfather, Boston Creamed
RelieversCaveman, Just Rachael
Late CummingPuppy Love Machine, Just Rachael
Dog and Child AbuseBoston Creamed, The Gonadfather, Puppy Love Machine, Crock Sucker, Fart Smella
Shit StompersCaveman, Deliverance
Best JacketSTD
No NameJust Diane (we will get to the bottom of this!)
 
...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 973:

Meeting timeSaturday December 1st.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: Moshe Sharet, Ramat-Gan

Maps: here's a Google Map for ya.

Directions: 

  • Get off at HaHalacha exit, going East, onto Bialik street.
  • Go straight through 3 traffic lights -- at the 4th traffic light turn LEFT onto Jabotinsky.
  • Go straight through 1 traffic light and before you reach the 2nd traffic light turn RIGHT onto Zohar Street (a little side street). Go till the end.
  • Turn LEFT onto Herzl then a QUICK RIGHT onto Moshe Sharet street.
  • Park somewhere near the school (on your right). Your Hare will be waiting.

  • And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


    Call Twin Peaks 
    052 874 3662

    Other messages
    • Very Very Important!!! We need a volunteer to take the beer off of penis envy's hands for 3 weeks (or less, but for the next week for sure...). Please, talk to me if it's in any way possible for you!
    • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
    • The new new Hare Raising Roster is Here (partially) If you are not there yet you still have a chance to choose...

    Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

    This is just a draft. If you need to change your date please talk to/mail me.

    Dec 8th - #974 - Deliverance

    Dec 15th - #975 - Fluffer

    Dec 22nd - #976 - Guest Starring - Viking

    Dec 29th - #977 - Boston Creamed

    Jan 1st - #978 - Captain Caveman - New Years Hash

    Jan 5th - #979 - Spit or Swallow

    Jan 12th - #980 - ?

    Jan 19th - #981 - Double Entry

    Jan 26th - #982 - Gadhafi

    Feb 2nd - #983 - Just Dianne

    Feb 9th - #984 - STD

    Feb 16th - #985 - Pig Woman

    Feb 23rd - #986 - Fluffer


    --
    On-on!
    Hash Scribe

    23 November, 2012

    Hash Trash Run 971, Directions to Run 972

    Hello fellow Hashers!

    Since I got two versions of what happened in the last Hash, here's Hare's & RA's view of the 971st Hash (a little comparative literature haven't killed anyone yet...):

    Version 1 - by the Hare(s):
    We have gathered in southern tel aviv, an intimate group of intrepid, devoted, determined Hashers.

    Beer was greatly mismanaged, after the threat of no beer, the trunks of two cars were filled with the mineral essence ... 
    The hare for the special event was directly flown in from Switzerland and made it through the low flying rockets in time. Supported by the enchanting co-hariette a great 5 k run was excellently, wonderfully, outstandingly (judged by the two hares) prepared. 
    The run looped through neve Tzedek and half pointed at the nearly deserted seaside. The walking hare - already half way drunk - was waiting for the pack and offered the hand carried beer - what a blast. For unknown reasons the small pack attracted the attention of the few pedestrians, who tried to enjoy their Saturday afternoon stroll... After a well performed "Father Abraham" the pack continued back to the parking - not before climbing all available stairs of Old Jaffa - following a non existing saying in Switzerland: "If you have small hills only, climb them twice". 
    Finally we made it back, smiling and happy. 

    As we circled back together we heard an alarm followed by a live interception. We got wet, enjoying refreshing  3 seconds of rain.

    Drinking A countless number of down downs, enjoying a wet shirt contest, we felt sorry for those remaining at their secured, boring cities*.

    *The 5 k was not the distance in km, but the amount of flour used in kg...

    Version 2 - by the RA:

    We circled up in a parking lot in south Tel Aviv. Although we were a small group, we were extremely good looking. 
    One of the Hares who is visiting from the Frankfurt Hash surprised us with his apparel. He had a fabulous set of boobs and a skirt. 
    We took off through Neve Tzedek and went up and down lanes there and through the Dallal Center and into the park where another Hare was waiting for us with Beers. 
    After singing "Jack the Necrophiliac", re-hydrating and scaring passers by with our good looks, we continued for a little jaunt down the beach and ran up and down every single step in Old Jaffo. We returned back to the parking lot for more refreshments of chips and beer. That is when the fun really began.
    First off, it rained and we continued the circle with a large purple umbrella. We managed to save the potato chips from sogginess. Just as the rain the stopped, the sirens started blaring and we grabbed our beers and headed for cover under a local apartment building. We peeked out and saw the rocket get taken out by the Iron Dome. Really unbelievable. 
    We continued the circle under the apartment building much to the amusement of some Israelis who had sought cover with us. 
    The potato chips were also saved from the rocket. 

    It was a great Hash.

    So on we go to the...

    Down-Downs Run 971:
    Hares: STD and Swans
    FRB: Pig woman
    DFLDeliverance
    Misnaming: Double Entry and Deliverance
    Misbehaving in Vegas: Captain Caveman
    Flip Flop RunDouble Entry
    Best Rack: Swans
    No Race BlingDeliverance
    1/2 Marathoners by AccidentDouble Entry and Deliverance


    ...and now for this week's run: 

    Directions to Run 972:

    Meeting timeSaturday November 24th.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

    Location: Parking lot just South of HaPa'amon Garden (behind the So Good gas station on Derech Beit Lehem Jerusalem!!! (here). The actual meeting place is "behind the Sonol (So Good) gas station on Derech Beit Lehem (the white rectangle South of the Garden on the map)".

    On-After: No, Nope, לא, Non etc. (for all you who don't read Hebrew, just copy and paste it into translate.google.com)

    Maps: From TA Here's a map

    Directions: There is a rather elaborate set of instructions on the left side of the map.

    And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


    Call
    Pigwoman @ 052-460-3494

    Other messages
    • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
    • See Hare roster notes below.

    Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

    As you see, the list is empty once again.

    I will redo a roster, but we must find some more Hashers!!! (active ones)

    Oh, and volunteer! 




    --
    On-on!
    Hash Scribe

    16 November, 2012

    Hash Trash Run 970, Directions to Run 971

    Hello fellow Hashers!

    NOTE THE NEW HASH HOUR! 15:00, 1500, 3PM

    Hare's view of the 970th Hash:

    We gathered in the midst of rainy Tel-Aviv for a Hash for the ages. Some of the hashers even made on time (others had some lame excuses about flat tires and such...). This week the harriette did not wear a skirt but she did pull a theme Hash, the "Game of Thrones" Hash. And boy, did we see some thrones!!
    The first Throne (Latrine) was at "Tiv Taam in the City", where apparently our hare likes to let herself go. The second throne (Lavatory) was at a restaurant, where peeing is done on the second floor and food is being made at the bottom floor. The third and the first interesting Throne (John) was at Little Prague where we had a... Beer!
    We then continued to our fourth throne (Restroom [does anyone actually rest there?!]), which was set in the middle of lovely Gan Me'ir (a dog shittery of it's own) and finally we got to Molly Blooms just to find the last throne (Toilet) in our journey.

    And all this journey, you must ask yourself, for what purpose? Well, it was all just to remind us that our harriette had a bladder of a 5 year old.
    Then we ate.
    All in all, two beer stops, 5 Throne stops, and one chilly, what more can you ask for?
     
    So on we go to the...

    Down-Downs Run 970:
    Hare: Penis Envy
    FRB: Gayza Strip, Spit or Swallow
    DFL: Double Entry
    Misnaming: Crock Sucker, Just Dianne, Twin Peaks
    Sitting (not on a Throne): Captain Caveman
    Returnees: Captain Caveman, Fluffer, STD
    Virgins: Just Sari, Just Stephan 
    Visitor: Chum Guzler
    Dog AbuseJust Sari, Just Stephan
    Relieving: Twin Peaks, Gayza Strip
    New Hash Kit: Just Dianne, Jusa Matt
    No Underwear: Spit or Swallow, Fluffer, Tein Peaks, Puppy Love Machine
    New Shoes (After the Hash...): Pig Woman and Spit or Swallow


    ...and now for this week's run: 

    Directions to Run 971:

    Surprise Hare!!! Dress up, get your running shoes ready and come!

    Meeting timeSaturday November 17th.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

    Location: Elifelet street, South TA, next to "Norma Jean" (+on after at "Norma Jean") (here).

    On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! (for all you who don't read Hebrew, just copy and paste it into translate.google.com)

    Maps: There is already one map too many, we've been there like a million times...

    Directions: Come on!!

    And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


    Call STD 
    054-4682008

    Other messages
    • Very Very Important!!! We need a volunteer to take the beer off of penis envy's hands for 3 weeks (or less, but for the next week for sure...). Please, talk to me if it's in any way possible for you!
    • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
    • The new Hare Raising Roster is Here (partially) If you are not there yet you still have a chance to choose...

    Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

    #972 Nov 24 - Pig Woman


    --
    On-on!
    Hash Scribe

    09 November, 2012

    Hash Trash Run 969, Directions to Run 970

    Hello fellow Hashers!

    NOTE THE NEW HASH HOUR! 15:00, 1500, 3PM

    Hare's view of the 969th Hash:

    We gathered near a school in Jerusalem.  Some of us carpooled, some drove themselves and a couple walked to the Hash. The Hare was in a skirt and was taunted by children and religious housewives during the run... 
    After a long complicated Chalk Talk including a Hasher peeing on the Chalk, we were on our way. We went up hills, down hills, through shiggy and by an eerie dollhouse/cat land. 
    Really freaky. 
    We had many midway points with beer on trail and almost lost a walker. The Hashers had many difficulties finding the real trail at some points. 
    As night drew near and there was no sign of the Hash ever ending; we finally saw the "On In" and Pigwoman straight from the airport. There was much rejoicing! Believe it or not this was an A to B Hash. Back at the circle there was much relieving and beer drunk. Some kids even threw rocks at us and we were flashed by the Hare. 
    The good times never cease. 
    A really good hash!
     
    So on we go to the...

    Down-Downs Run 969:
    HarePuppy Love Machine
    FRBJust Matt
    DFLPig Woman
    Virgin: Just Matt
    Latecomers: Gonadfather and Pig Woman
    New Hair: Penis Envy
    Animal Abuse: Boston Creamed and Gonadfather
    Relieving: Penis Envy and Just Nili (Boston Creamed took her Down Down)
    Sexting: Puppy Love Machine and Penis Envy
    Twins: Twin Peaks and Penis Envy; Gonadfather and Deliverance
    No Hash Kit: Just Diane
    New Shoes: Pig Woman and Just Diane


    ...and now for this week's run: 

    Directions to Run 970:

    Meeting timeSaturday November 10th.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

    Location: Penis Envy's regular spot, Ben-Yehuda 29 Tel-Aviv  (here).

    On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! (for all you who don't read Hebrew, just copy and paste it into translate.google.com)
    So, as I said, On-After at Penis Envy's place!!! Good food, fine wine (and two wieners!)

    Maps: From Ayalon (Map)

    Directions (From Hashalom Interchange - Ayalon):


    1. Head north on Exits HaShalom Interchange-מחלף השלום‎ toward Giv'at HaTahmoshet/גבעת התחמושת‎
    2. Turn left onto Giv'at HaTahmoshet/גבעת התחמושת‎
    3. Continue onto Eliezer Kaplan/אליעזר קפלן‎
    4. Continue onto Dizengoff/דיזנגוף‎
    5. Turn left onto Sderot Tarsat/שדרות תרס"ט‎
    6. Take the 2nd right onto Sderot Ben Tsiyon/שדרות בן ציון‎
    7. Continue onto Bograshov/בוגרשוב‎
    8. Turn left onto Hovevei Tsiyon/חובבי ציון‎
    9. Turn right onto Trumpeldor/טרומפלדור‎
    10. Take the 1st right onto Ben Yehuda/בן יהודה‎
    Destination will be on the left
    Ben Yehuda 29
    Tel Aviv-Yafo, Israel


     


    And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


    Call Penis Envy 
    054-4248898

    Other messages
    • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
    • The new Hare Raising Roster is Here (partially) If you are not there yet you still have a chance to choose...
    • We need a volunteer for next week, any takers?


    Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

    #971 Nov 17 - TBD

    #972 Nov 24 - Pig Woman


    --
    On-on!
    Hash Scribe

    01 November, 2012

    Hash Trash Run 968, Directions to Run 969

    Hello fellow Hashers!

    NOTE THE NEW HASH HOUR! 15:00, 1500, 3PM

    Hare's view of the 968th Hash:

    We circled up in Herzliya Pituach at the Doggy Park. It turned out to be a women only Hash, which already meant that it was far superior to most Hashes.
    Dressed in our crazy outfits we were off to what we were told was a short Hash only to find out that it was a normal length Hash.
    We sang "More Beer" at the half on the beach promenade and we were heading back to the circle for a quick set of Down Downs. As we finished the last Down Down the pizza guy arrived with the pizza and there was much rejoicing.
    Deliverance's studio was turned into a Women's locker room with showers and costume changes and onto the Trick or Treat stations.
    You losers who did not attend missed a really great Hash and awesome Trick or Treat.
     
    So on we go to the...

    Down-Downs Run 968:
    Hare: Deliverance
    FRB: Twin Peaks
    DFL: Penis Envy
    Dead Wrrong: Boston Creamed
    No costume: Boston Creamed
    Best Costume: Twin Peaks
    Wrong Way: Just Diane
    Misnaming: Twin Peaks and Deliverance


    ...and now for this week's run: 

    Directions to Run 969:

    Meeting time: Saturday November 3rd.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

    Location: T
    he parking lot on Yaakov Tahon St. in Jerusalem (just off Golomb St., behind the big Kiryat Yovel sign) - See Map Here

    Directions (From Cavemans erection): At this LINK

    Hash Scribe strongly suggests using a GPS device/Waze on your smartphone. If you choose to do so you can also insert these coordinates:
    31.762288,35.17631

    Now listen, your hare, AKA Puppy Love Machine, says that: "
    Hounds should bring their drinking shoes and shiggy socks because there will be beer and shiggy on trail...". And I say, do as he says, he must know something...


    And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


    Call Puppy Love Machine @ 052-344-7338.


    Other messages
    • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
    • The new Hare Raising Roster is Here (partially) If you are not there yet you still have a chance to choose...


    Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

    #969 Nov 3 - Puppy Love Machine

    #970 Nov 10 - Penis Envy

    #971 Nov 17 - TBD

    #972 Nov 24 - Pig Woman



    --
    On-on!
    Hash Scribe