31 July, 2013

International Beer Day Noon Beer

Hear Hear!

This Friday is the International Beer Day and, being a drinking club and all, we are getting together for a noon beer.

Directions:
When: Friday, Aug. 2nd. starting 13:00, 1300hr, 1pm. it's cool to be late, it's even cooler to be on time!

Where: Porter & Sons, HaArba'a St. in Tel-Aviv (click for map) There are parking lots around the place, parking on the street is usually sparse.

How to get there?: From HaShalom interchange (click for map)

Important! Reply to this email TODAY ASAP if you intend to cum, and when you intend to cum!
(Or send a text to Spit or Swallow or Twin Peaks, but an email is preferable) 

Here is a song I haven't listened to, but has a good name: The Beer Song.

-- 
On-on!
Hash Scribe

26 July, 2013

Crash Hash Trash hash 1009

Hello fellow hashers,

This hash trash is sent to you all from Koropi, Pelion, Greece. Google it for pictures.

Hash 1008 was very fun, but the best part was the pool party that ensued. So that's it for last week's HT.

Hares: Fluffer & Spit or Swallow
FRB: Goldmember
DFL: Double Entry
Other Down Downs: Other Hashers

Directions to run #1009:

Meeting time: Sat. July 27th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location:

From your hare, Twin Peaks:

This week's Hash will begin at the shopping center of Savyon.  I hate giving directions.  Not sure how you give satellite coordinates.
 
If lost call Twin Peaks 0528743662 but you are better off calling someone who could help you.

On After: None that I'm aware of.


Directions: See map

Lost? The number above might help...

On-On
Hash-Scribe,
Greece


--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

18 July, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1007, Directions to Runs #1008

Hello fellow Hashers!

Listen, the HT is mighty long today, don't let it discourage you. There are also directions to Saturday's Hash somewhere at the bottom, it's worth getting there.

Hare's view of the 1007th Hash - Uncut, Uncensored and F-ing long...:
"Hi SOS,
here the "short" summary of Hash 1007
List with names of participants and down down will be provided by RA Fuckhead.
 
Hash run 1007 – perfect day, perfect trail, perfect all..  
Nine insane hashers and two little brads showed up last Saturday at the parking lot
close to Yafo port to set off for hash run 1007.
 
Our friends from Jerusalem where the first to show up there. Hotbox and Mr. Gadhafi himself, always on time. You can  really count on the Voice of America.
Due to a stubbed toe and mis-parking due to lost orientation by Gold Member the hash started with a delay of 15 minutes. Typical unusual for a German setting the hash. Even though what is normal being myself – young ass hopper -  a typical German. :o)).
The Replacement RA Fuckhead, I love that name, was from the beginning busy writing done numerous down downs, even before the hash started.
A new virgin, with the beautiful name "just bella" who was "hired" by just Jose showed up too. She showed her real talents later on the trail, when she turned out to be Beyonce herself, singing and giving a great ass jiggle performance during the run.. Pls. repeat that at the next hash…
 
The run lead first to the south  through a park along the beach before turning into little side streets of south Bronx Yafo.  Hashers become dizzy by the numerous curves and ups and downs. Nevertheless Double Entry was a great fan of the trail. Fantastic, well done…He still speaks of it in office three days after the hash.
 
During the run Fuckhead supplied several hashers from his camel bag with water or whatever was inside. After drinking that stuff, especially just Bella was heading like the comic super hero " FLASH / Roter Blitz "  to the leading pack. Just Jose an Young Ass Hopper were wondering at the end of the pack if it was really water in the camel bag or some magical potion.
 
The midpoint was a small pub in Yafo, with a short beer stop.
Walkers Just Nancy,  Hotbox, and stubbed toe Gold member – do  not know how she managed to get her toe stubbed – where already waiting for the runners enjoying beer and fresh juices. Than the runners joined and enjoyed trash talks so so much that some even forgot the holy rules of HHHH and sat down on chairs and almost forgot to sing the midpoint song More Beer. Luckily we had our RA Fuckhead, well trained by the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces), writing down the downs downs and reminding us of the midpoint song.
 
Taking off again, Just Nancy and little brad Audrey joined the runners delivering an unbelievable finish. Little Audrey was not only faster than some grown ups but also very talkative and entertained the whole group.
During the final circle doing the down downs young ass hopper where suddenly seeing only white stars due to excessive alcohol abuse (one beer – equals five beer for a real German) and a slight sun stroke. He was taking off again… :o) The hash day finally ended in a restaurant at Yafo harbor where another "Virgin Sarah" hired again by just Jose showed up."

That's it, short and sweet, ain't it?

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1007:
Hare: Young Ass Hopper
FRB: Fuckhead
DFL: Just Jose
FRBrat: Just Audrey
Chip Hoarder: Just Noam
No Hash Kit: Just Nancy, Just Jose
Late Cummer: Goldmember
Misnaming: Fuckhead
Relieving: Just Jose
False Accusations: Just Nancy (x2), Fuckhead
Walkers: Goldmember, Hotbox
Sitting: Young Ass Hopper, Just Nancy
Pointing: Gadhafi, Fuckhead, Double Entry
Fornication on the Trail: Double Entry, Just Jose
New Shoes: Just Jose
Virgin: Just Bella
Fuck-Off: Young Ass Hopper

...and now for this week's run: 


Directions to Run 1008:

Meeting timeSaturday July 20th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: HaMafteach 28, Michmoret (here).

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! A pool party! Bring snacks, salads and other good stuff. There will be Hash beer of course, but if you want something else (i.e. soft drinks and such) bring it.
BRING A TOWEL!!!

Maps: From HaShalom Interchange; From anything south/north/east of Tel Aviv, just join the route wherever and follow it.

Directions: 
Just stick to the directions on the left hand side of the map (or put "Michmoret/מכמורת" in your GPS thingamajig)

Other notes: Upon arriving at the gate of Michmoret, contact one of the hares so they'll open it for you.

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call  Fluffer 
052-8801111 or Spit or Swallow 054-6717787

Other massages
  • Later this weekend a new Hare Roster will be published. If you have any preferred date, state it now. 
  • We have a guest Hasher that needs a ride from TA to the Hash, is anyone up to the job?
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!
July 27 - #1009 - 
Aug 3 - #1010 - 
Aug 10 - #1011 - 
Aug 17 - #1012 -
Aug 24 - #1013 -
Aug 31 - #1014 -

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

Thirsty Knights Hash 69+15 (or else)

Hi all,

An email from FuckHead:

TKH3 69+15:


When: Thursday July 18th 20:00

Where: This park here: http://goo.gl/maps/WczuH on Sadiah Gaon. 
Note: it's NOT the park where we started last time (found a closer spot to the on-after)

Parking. Plenty on-street and also a lot here: http://goo.gl/maps/RpsVs
Note: didn't check to see if you will be allowed to park there, just that it exists.

Directions:

What: Beer. A hash. A beer break. More beer. Not more than 4.08k

On after? Gastropub 58. Yehuda Halevi 58. Shooting Blanks liked the hamburgers.

Anything special? Yes. Please email Fuckhead at eliinisrael@gmail.com to volunteer to lay the trail on August 1, 15, or 29.

Still not satisfied? Your problem. (but if you get lost or have questions you can call the hare Fuckhead at (054) 237-8356)

That's it,

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

12 July, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1006, Directions to Runs #1007

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hare's view of the 1006th Hash:

It was a hot sunny day (as usual) in Neve Tsedek. The walking group was large with two adults and three very active 5 to 7 year olds. On the way back Goldmember & Just Audrey fell on to the running side as the draw of a good run was too much for them.

I have no idea how the running went as I was enjoying learning Hebrew from my preschool walking partners. I have heard from the runners that the trail was shitty… maybe some of the flour blobs were in weird indecipherable shapes? How could that happen… there was also no number in the hash circle.

After the circle there was a small group who went for an impromptu on-after at Norma Jeans – good food and drinks were had by all!


So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1006:

Hare: Second Hand Job

FRB: Fuckhead

JFRB (Junior FRB): Just Audrey

DFL: Just Jose

Virgin: Just Lisa

Racists: Pig Woman & Just Nancy

Fancy: Just Jose (Not paying attention to naked woman)

No # in Circle: Second Hand Job

Child Abuse: Goldmember

Freudian Slip: Fuckhead


...and now for this week's run: 


Directions to Run 1007:

Meeting timeSaturday July 13th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: The big parking lot south of the Jaffa Port (here).

On-After: None that I'm aware of.

Maps: From HaShalom Interchange; From anything east of TA

Directions: 
Just stick to the directions on the right hand side of the map (or put "Nemal Yafo street" in your GPS thingamajig)

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Young Ass Hopper 
054-2128316

Other massages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!
July 20 - #1008 - Fluffer and Spit or Swallow - Get your meat ready...

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

05 July, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1005, Directions to Runs #1006 - Correction

Hello fellow Hashers!

As pointed out by the late dictator of Libya, tomorrow's Hash will start at 16:00 as hashes do nowadays.
So again:

Meeting timeSaturday July 6th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Parking Lot on Elifelet st. (here).
Maps: 
From HaShalom interchange on Ayalon - Here
From South (J-lem etc.) - Here
Directions: 
We've started there more then enough times for everybody to know the way by heart... but if you still have no clue, use the directions on the maps above 
or:
Call Second Hand Job 054-6129373

Thanks Gadhafi!

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

Hash Trash Run #1005, Directions to Runs #1006

Hello fellow Hashers!

Co-Hare's view of the 1005th Hash:

Not exactly sure how I got stuck with the task of writing up the Hash Trash as I was only the assistant. 
Anyhow, it was hot, very hot. The word around town was that most Hashers would not be able to attend Run 1005. Caveman and myself decided that if only Goldmember showed up -- we weren't running. Much to our surprise, some of the Jerusalem crew showed up and 4 Virgins (3 adults + Hash Brat). 
It was decided that I would walk with Just Audrey (our new Hash Brat). What an excellent decision on my part, Just Audrey was full of information on her mother, Just Nancy. Just Audrey was a little disappointed that the walking trail did not have flour marks like the running trail. She has even suggested that we set the trail with "flowers" and was quick to point out that we shouldn't use flowers that grow locally. 
From what I understood from the runners, the trail was shitty, the Hare was leading the pack and Just Iris (who at the beginning of the Hash informed all of us that she was a long distance runner) wasn't feeling too good at the end of the trail. 
No one can ever replace Swamp Monster but Just Audrey finished her first day of training in the art of pouring down downs.

And to the "Though of the week" by our co-hare:
Can a SCB (Short Cutting Bastard) also be the FRB (Front Running Bastard)?  I think not, what say you?

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1005:
Hare: Caveman & Twin Peaks
FRB: Pig Woman (see thought of the week)
DFL: Just Jose
SCB: Pig Woman
Misdenamer: Boston Creamed
Virgins: Just Ron, Just Iris, Just Nancy and Just Audrey
Hare Leading the Pack: Captain Caveman
Golden Showers: Just Jose
Corrupting Hash-Brat: Twin Peaks

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 1006:

Meeting timeSaturday November 24th.15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: Parking Lot on Elifelet st. (here).

On-After: I don't know of anything pre-planned, but hell, it's right next to Norma Jean's so I guess some kind of voluntary on-after will take place.

Maps: 
From HaShalom interchange on Ayalon - Here
From South (J-lem etc.) - Here


Directions: 
We've started there more then enough times for everybody to know the way by heart... but if you still have no clue, use the directions on the maps above 
or:
Call Second Hand Job 054-6129373

Other messages
  • Very Important - We need a volunteer to set the Hash next week. Anyone?
  • As Important - Captain Caveman has been the Beer-Meister for like a decade now. Who volunteers to take the beer off his hands?
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

#1007 Jul 14 - TBD

#1008 Jul 20 - Fluffer/Spit or Swallow

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

03 July, 2013

Thirsty Knights H3 Run #69+14

Hello fellow hashers!

It's the triumphant return of Thirsty Knights H3!

When: July 4th 20:00- that's right it's July 4th and its gonna get rowdy

Where: London Garden, next to Mike's on Hayarkon (the place with the boat-looking statue) see map HERE (zoom in for a street-view)

Directions: We've started there only, like, every other hash. Figure it out.

What: Some Beer. A hash. A beer break. More beer. Not more than 4k (promised by the hare).

On after? There's a reason we're starting next to Mike's, right?

Anything special? Of course - it's the 4th! Wear Red, White, and Blue (Israelis may omit the red), bring the loudest things you can find, and prepare for debauchery. 
A lot of it. 
If anyone has an Uncle Sam costume that might just take the cake...

Still not satisfied? You're problem. (but if you get lost or have questions you can call the hare Fuckhead at 054-2378356)

That's it boys and girls, 
See ya'll there!
--
On-on!
Hash Scribe